Comedic Moments Appreciator Pillows

"He's not here. Nightime would find him in Rosa's Cantina."

'On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how attached are you to the cat?'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Wind shear - 81 st and Lex

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

Teacher to student: 'I taught your father. He owes me $3,000 for therapy.'

'..the sound of no hands clapping...'

"This is the future of logistics. Thanks to our new technology this parcel can miss-send itself to somewhere in Kazakhstan."

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

"The Bible . . . that would be under self-help."

'Watch your step. I happen to know you're an alpha male.'

"I brought popcorn..."

Swiss Army General.

'Look, Mom. I'm belly dancing.'

"Is this your first time with an undercover cop?"

A truck full of radioactive waste with no particular place to go...

Dog on skates.

I'm the gorilla's nuts... I'm the dog's bo****ks... He's never been good at hiding his light under a bushel.

7 Dead Twits Pub & Alehouse - 'He's paying.'

Horse bolts from Horse-box it sees in a carpark.

'That's not the sort of request I meant, Madam, and anyway it's physically impossible!'

"What makes you think I'm pregnant?"

"I know I encourage employees to take initiative, Tom... but I think you should change that back!"

"Now I'll read a selection from the book I have chosen. Sift a quarter cup of flour into a bowl. . ."

'Don't just stand there...get the camcorder!'

Spoiler Alert: Here Lies Justin SpanBauer. . . 'All the World's a Stage'.

Sale! Everything Must Go!

"Scruffy? I'm not scruffy! I'm natural!"

"I shaved with detergent, did the dishes with shaving cream and showered with dishwasher soap. It all came out the same."

'Hooray! A Christmas miracle! I suddenly went blind an can't see that mistletoe above your head!'