Comedic Moments Appreciator Pillows

"He's not here. Nightime would find him in Rosa's Cantina."

Look who's headed this way. It's Darlene. How do I look? Desperate and pathetic. She's engaged. She's not interested. You've got to move on. No way, she has to be here for a reason. This won't go well. One coffee to go. I do.

'On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how attached are you to the cat?'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

Wind shear - 81 st and Lex

"You should always stretch before engaging in strenuous activity."

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

Teacher to student: 'I taught your father. He owes me $3,000 for therapy.'

'..the sound of no hands clapping...'

"This is the future of logistics. Thanks to our new technology this parcel can miss-send itself to somewhere in Kazakhstan."

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

"The Bible . . . that would be under self-help."

'Watch your step. I happen to know you're an alpha male.'

'Look, Mom. I'm belly dancing.'

"Is this your first time with an undercover cop?"

Swiss Army General.

Dog on skates.

We never go out anymore.

A truck full of radioactive waste with no particular place to go...

"I brought popcorn..."

I'm the gorilla's nuts... I'm the dog's bo****ks... He's never been good at hiding his light under a bushel.

Donuts. Pastries. Danish. Cookies. I'm breaking my diet resolution, but on the other hand I'm keeping my resolution to visit old friends!

"I know I encourage employees to take initiative, Tom... but I think you should change that back!"

'That's not the sort of request I meant, Madam, and anyway it's physically impossible!'

"What makes you think I'm pregnant?"

"Now I'll read a selection from the book I have chosen. Sift a quarter cup of flour into a bowl. . ."

'Fang, what do you think the chances are that I'll marry that girl second from the end on 'Deal or No Deal'?'

'Mom, Dad...I'd like you to meet Fanny'

7 Dead Twits Pub & Alehouse - 'He's paying.'

Horse bolts from Horse-box it sees in a carpark.

'Don't just stand there...get the camcorder!'

Spoiler Alert: Here Lies Justin SpanBauer. . . 'All the World's a Stage'.

'Hooray! A Christmas miracle! I suddenly went blind an can't see that mistletoe above your head!'

Cat Cheerleaders