Comedic Charm Gifts

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

"My mating dances were unsuccessful, so I tried reciting poetry: didn't work either..."

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Get crazy once in a while

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

Diving Cat.

Double Saxophone

Jack in the Box

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

I'm getting old, I spotted a couple of brown hairs among the punk.

'Well, given that you have three broken ribs, laughing is bound to be painful...'

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

'Nice this kite sailboat. But how do you actually land it?'

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

"Al, are you certain that this guy has the authority to marry us?"

Why Men Get Angry and Why Women Get Angry

"You ever notice how heavy your head is?"

'That holiday I booked for my wife to the Galapagos Islands? She found her way back, so can we try another destination?'

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

"I said I wanted to see you in skimpy clothes..."

'How can I miss you if you won't go away!'

He's working his way up to lions!

'The answer is yes - I'll sign your pre-nuptial agreement.'

'How about some marital counselling, hon? Should we grab some while we're in this aisle?' 'No, we're fine on that.'

'Why don't you put your money in the Bank, instead of stuffing it under the mattress?'

'My dad warned me about fellas like you!'

"Me? I thougt they were your anniversary surprise!"