Comedic Catholic Pillows

catholic

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Get crazy once in a while

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

I'm getting old, I spotted a couple of brown hairs among the punk.

'The good news is we were able to remove the homework from his stomach. The bad news is, your kid can't write worth a damn.'

'Well, given that you have three broken ribs, laughing is bound to be painful...'

Excommunicate Me.

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

'Nice this kite sailboat. But how do you actually land it?'

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

Pope Benedict at Easter

"Uh-oh! Here comes trouble!"

Pope Francis

'I've got an epistle to the Corinthians, ten shekels postage due.'

'We moved here so we could have a wide screen.'

'Dads On Steroids' Dad swung his child through fence accidentally.

He's working his way up to lions!

'He has so much stuff, toys and gadgets so now we punish him by sending him to our room.'

'Speak up!'

Christian Book Centre.

Jesus saves.

"Say: 'Alien Abduction'."

"Ted's flamboyantly straight."

'Blessed before 20/01/00'

'Is it for your wife or your girl friend?'

'Miss Allen, have we scheduled a blessing of the animals?'

'It's called a monogram, not a shirt tattoo.'

Mr Briggs's sPleasures of Fishing - No. I