Comedic Biologist Pillows

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Zoo: No Hunting.

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

E=Emcee Squared

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

Monkey Business College

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

"I expected to see some politicians in there!"

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

'I don't remember his name, but he also sold me $14,000 worth of aluminum siding.'

Flatulence in space...

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

So the short answer is no; these aren't billable hours.

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

"Great pet, but we should have given him less energy."