Comedic Science Fan Pillows

'He's a genius in genetics, but he can't fold a genome map.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I'm going to get you fired."

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

E=Emcee Squared

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'Galileo, I said a right at the corner and then a left.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

The life of penguins.

"Actually, not all roses are red. Sometimes they're white as well as numerous other colours. Also I think you'll find that violets are sort of purple..."

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

'Yes Ma'am, we're from the Governement: We need samples for scientific testing...'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

Just what is it that amoebas really want.

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet.