Comedian Contemplator Gifts

Sad Humour

Professional woman in pub

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

North Pole.

Caterpillar Paranoia

'What I especially like about being a philosopher-scientist is that I don't have to get my hands dirty.'

"I pick up most of my wisdom from celebrity interviews.'

William would often take long walks along the beach, seeking inspiration for his next timesheet.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life, Axel. Is that the good news or the bad news?

"Oh, to be a Mayfly."

We only go around once

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

'Contemplate this summons.'

'Oh yeah! First to reach enlightenment... Right here! Eat my dust, bitches!'

Is there anything worse than the aging process? The thing that comes after the aging process.

Death is just a side-effect of living.

'Nobody takes you seriously? -- Are you trying to be funny?'

Blight at the end of the tunnel

"Well, no, I wouldn't expect it to speak to you."

'... Yes, most people are surprised when I show them the real meaning of life.'

Samuel Beckett.

'Just a heads up. The 'Big Guy' is not a fan of religion.'

"Fred's conversational level speaks volumes. When he's losing an argument, he raises the volume."

Larry promised himself he wouldn't give into the pier pressure...not again.

Really? A date with me is like a religious experience? How so? It reminds me of snake-handling.

Highway of Life

In case of emergency, break silence.

Rodin's Thinker.

"According to my financial advisor, dying was a lucky break before my savings ran out."

'I'd invite you in but my box is a mess.'

"My parents wanted me to join the priesthood, but I didn't think I'd have the stomach for that much controversy."