Comedian Contemplator Pillows

Sad Humour

Professional woman in pub

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

'What I especially like about being a philosopher-scientist is that I don't have to get my hands dirty.'

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

North Pole.

Caterpillar Paranoia

"I pick up most of my wisdom from celebrity interviews.'

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

'Contemplate this summons.'

'Oh yeah! First to reach enlightenment... Right here! Eat my dust, bitches!'

'... Yes, most people are surprised when I show them the real meaning of life.'

Blight at the end of the tunnel

"Well, no, I wouldn't expect it to speak to you."

'Nobody takes you seriously? -- Are you trying to be funny?'

Death is just a side-effect of living.

Samuel Beckett.

Larry promised himself he wouldn't give into the pier pressure...not again.

"Fred's conversational level speaks volumes. When he's losing an argument, he raises the volume."

'Just a heads up. The 'Big Guy' is not a fan of religion.'

Highway of Life

"My parents wanted me to join the priesthood, but I didn't think I'd have the stomach for that much controversy."

Rodin's Thinker.

"According to my financial advisor, dying was a lucky break before my savings ran out."

'I'd invite you in but my box is a mess.'

"Father, I would like to go to confession with you!"