Colts Critic Gifts

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

'What the... Oh, lucky me - it's just something easy to get rid of!'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Footballer playing for time

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

'I don't want to mention any names, but one of you isn't giving 100% out there.'

World Cup. Half Empty.

'We're sending you down, Hartnett. You need to work on your scratching and spitting.'

'The object is to get the ball into either of those two nets.' - 'It would help if the men didn't get in each other's way so much.'

Doping

Match Fixing in Malaysia

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

'But now for the good news, Bob. The replay was shown repeatedly on Sports Center.'

'You may be wondering what a sex scandal has to do with managing the national team...'

Biden immigration laws.

Partisan Politics

"He's told them many a time, not to let defenders shoot, but do they take any notice. . ?"

"There goes Congressman Nunes again."

'Touch me and I'll see you in Strasbourg.'

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

'The selectors must be meeting...'

Marvin preferred the old fashioned way of arguing, before instant replay.

Novak Djokovic

"This part of the match was fixed...errr....sponsered by..."

'Baseball isn't a sport?'

'Thank goodness those bloody games are over. Maybe now they'll put something decent on the telly.'