Colorful Trends Follower Pillows

"Look at these old clothes, Dylan! You know, tie-dye HAS made a comeback!"

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

Queen of Quinoa

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

Inflating Boobs.

"That shirt is so last year."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

Giraffe Selfie

"What are you doing?"

'Why don't you use more blue? -- Blue is very popular these days.'

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."