Design Trend Followers Pillows

"The 'razor sharp shards of glass' feature is a controversial new addition to our range of easy chairs."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"That shirt is so last year."

Inflating Boobs.

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Like my new haircut?"

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

Giraffe Selfie

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

Sales - "For the last time, stop saving us money." (Colour)

The Aging of Underwear

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."