Design Trend Followers Pillows

"The 'razor sharp shards of glass' feature is a controversial new addition to our range of easy chairs."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Like my new haircut?"

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

Inflating Boobs.

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"That shirt is so last year."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

Giraffe Selfie

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"What are you doing?"

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

"Port outbound, starboard home."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

Sales - "For the last time, stop saving us money." (Colour)