Colorful Trends Follower Mugs

"Look at these old clothes, Dylan! You know, tie-dye HAS made a comeback!"

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

Queen of Quinoa

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

Inflating Boobs.

"That shirt is so last year."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

Giraffe Selfie

'Why don't you use more blue? -- Blue is very popular these days.'

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."