Color Consultant T-Shirts

"'Anguish,' 'Parasite,' 'Malaise.' Let's move Mr. Kafka out of the paint color naming department."

Blues consultant.

In the Guru District

That shows business confidence.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Men's business romper.

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'I'll take it!'

"Love the bag, Stell! Very career."

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

How would Madam like to pay?

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

'Good to know my whole social life hasn't been a complete waste.'

Trendies, INC

Saleswoman holds mirror up to the backside of the bride's dress

"Didn't you get the memo? The boss said he was bringing in some experts to help with the company's rebranding."

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

'Note the bold use of gray.'

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'So, Vincent, who is your target market?'

'To much orange.'

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

'Men will never understand.'