Cosmetics Consultant T-Shirts

'I'm looking for something that reeks moderation and restraint.'

In the Guru District

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Men's business romper.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Have you no common scents?!'

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

What price beauty?

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

GQ Magazine: Stay at Home Special.

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

"Love the bag, Stell! Very career."

'I'll take it!'

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

Woman applying makeup

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"Botox."

How would Madam like to pay?