Colonial Enthusiasts Gifts

'George, I'd like you to meet Mademoiselle Fifi LaTour from Paris -- she inspired me to invent bifocals!'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

Colonial Larrysburg.

Thomas Keneally

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

"My paper is on Paul Revere's famous ride form the standpoint of media impact across select stages of the colonial decision-making process."

Alexander Pope

"When in the course of human events it becomes... Oh, blast it! Adams is just going to edit the heck out of this..."

William Bentinck

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

"Here come the revisionists."

'… and another thing … the only reason you know it's my birthday to begin with, is because we were all born on the same day!'

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

'I got them to agree to a small settlement.'

'The Ben Franklin? What an honor! I see your 'Poor Richard's Almanack' in bathrooms all over the place!'

"The Founding Fathers?! Ha! That’ll never stick!"

'The Ben Franklin? What an honor! I see your 'Poor Richard's Almanack' in bathrooms all over the place!'

L'il Buckaroo.

'Okay, I'll be nice, but they'd better not stay long.'

'Let's weight anchor here. I understand there's no environmental laws and the possibilities for development are endless.'

"I'll be honest with you; I kind of hate taxation with representation, too."

William Tell's First and Last Day of Elementary School.

"We're for calling it 'Hampton,' but they want to call it 'the Hamptons.' "

Where Washington's chicken crossed the road to get to the other side.

Betting flunkey anxious about money

President Grant Vetos the Inflation Bill, Bottling the Genie of Butler

'Oh, no, Columbus - lawyers!'

Rene Descartes

The Mayflower "Contents May Settle."

Plymouth Rock Long Term Parking, $1 per Day.

No, we're NOT getting a convertible!

'It's almost unfair. . . their swords aren't even pointy.'

"I think they're saying something about wanting to maintain the integrity of their border."