Colonial Enthusiast Grandparent Gifts

'The Ben Franklin? What an honor! I see your 'Poor Richard's Almanack' in bathrooms all over the place!'

Several generations live together in Cuba

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

Colonial Larrysburg.

Frankenstein's Ancestry

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

"My paper is on Paul Revere's famous ride form the standpoint of media impact across select stages of the colonial decision-making process."

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

"Yeah, my great-grandpa was shell-shocked in World War One too..."

"When in the course of human events it becomes... Oh, blast it! Adams is just going to edit the heck out of this..."

William Bentinck

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

Ye Olde Inn, Fine Food & Spirits.

"Here come the revisionists."

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

"That's two days after you were born."

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

"That is why you never forget your roots."

"Can DNA testing really prove that George Washington was the 'Father if our Country'?"

"Dad, are you absolutely sure I'm not adopted?"

'I got them to agree to a small settlement.'

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

"Thank you for coming with me. This is a sacred family tradition."

"The Founding Fathers?! Ha! That’ll never stick!"

'He's not my granddad, he's my father by his third marriage.'

'The Ben Franklin? What an honor! I see your 'Poor Richard's Almanack' in bathrooms all over the place!'

'Okay, I'll be nice, but they'd better not stay long.'

'Let's weight anchor here. I understand there's no environmental laws and the possibilities for development are endless.'