Collision Humorist Pillows

When protons collide...

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

A Not So Grand Slam.

'That's Hindenburg for you. Just can't express his anger in a positive way.'

'How was my emergency stop?'

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

Freak Accident Specialist

Cotton candy

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

'Want to have a snow ball battle?'

Opera Pickleball

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

'It doesn't work...'

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

Live To Crash, Crash To Live.

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

"And hold the mayo."

'Next time the captain says to turn off your cell phone, just do it!'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

"Well done!"

Please Don't Ask...

Man crashes his car before leaving the driveway because he forgot his glasses.

The life of a crash-test dummy

"Of all the vehicles in heaven and you had to rear-end his car?"

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

'Do you believe those idiots in HR screwed up our uniforms again?'