College Culture Gifts

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Goes To College

The Art Student.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Hmph. College kids.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"One year closer to college!"

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Kardiff.

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

Santa does a keg stand.

All Hail the Matriarchy

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

Jumping cheerleaders