Student Culture Gifts

I'm forgetting which college is which. Their brochures are all alike. University of. It's always fall or spring. Apply! There's always a multi-cultural group of kids hanging out. There's always a girl in goggles working in a science lab with an ethnic-looking prof. It's reassuring. They all celebrate their diversity in the exact same way! And charge the exact same for it!

A Puppet Named Juan

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

University Soapflakes

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Yearbook

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Text Culture

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Hoodie Hang-out

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

Musical notes bubble gum.

All Hail the Matriarchy

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

"Nice haircut."

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"I'm going to patronize India for my gap year, where are you going?"

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

Clubbing