College Athlete Reminiscer Gifts

"I see you went to college on a wrestling scholarship."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

Go team!

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

Lost Season

'Where Are They Now?'

'You're always living in the past.'

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

'Life passed me by without using a turn signal.'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

'Remember when we used to catch small fish by the bucket full.'

Griller highlights never gets old

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

"It's a fortuitous coincidence that the greatest moments in music history were when I was in high school."

'Aaah yes, the stampede of July 1810: Good times...'

"Do you remember when families used to get together and fight at Christmas?"

"I'll bet you were good at making skid marks?"

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

'He's revisiting his childhood.'

'Yes, old friend, we've traveled a long road, made a lot of stops, scooped up a lot of poop...'

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

'I was just remembering the good old days - I had two of them!'

I got my bad back from an old football injury.

"I can't remember where we're going."

"I'm so old I can't remember who's the smart one and who's the pretty one."

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"Over the long haul, it's been a long haul."

Signs grampa has run out of 'When I Was Your Age' stories.