Collector Of The Absurd T-Shirts

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"He was a sea rescue."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"Now you can send it."

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"Behold! My greatest improvement to fatherhood. She cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, burps, and farts. What's more...she self-identifies as a father!"

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

The End is Nigh

Salvador Dali's cats.

UFO and snowman

Baseball.

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Operation.

When Someone Says Biden Sucks, You Are Supposed to Have a Good Answer

"Any duck that thinks that decoy looks like a duck,swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, deserves to be shot!"

'I want to talk about your efforts to increase sales, Robert.'

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

"....Climate change is a hoax folks...believe me I know....fake news."

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

'I am a bit concerned about what you meant when you said: LET'S DO LUNCH...'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

The Bonvoy Age...

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

"This is Norman's little bureau of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms."

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver