Collector Of The Absurd Mugs

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"He was a sea rescue."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"Now you can send it."

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

The End is Nigh

Baseball.

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

UFO and snowman

Operation.

"Any duck that thinks that decoy looks like a duck,swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, deserves to be shot!"

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

'I want to talk about your efforts to increase sales, Robert.'

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

"....Climate change is a hoax folks...believe me I know....fake news."

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

'I am a bit concerned about what you meant when you said: LET'S DO LUNCH...'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

"Those? They're the ponytails of smart-aleck college boys who couldn't cut the mustard."

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

"This is Norman's little bureau of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms."

Fourth quarter earnings down, please help.

The Bonvoy Age...