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'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Playdough's The Republic

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Useless add-ons.

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Suffering from Cooties?

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

Kanya West Inspired Children Books.

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

'A is for Arse.'

My daddy ate my homework

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

Shark infested custard!

Cheating Death.

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'