Collector Of Customer Feedback Irony Gifts

"Your opinion is very important to us. So please keep it safely hidden away."

The Snarky District

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

Payback Time

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

Slave Drivers.

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

'Don't be so sexist, sweet cheeks.'

"I really enjoyed my job. Management found about it and fired me."

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

'Finally, an objective way to decide who to promote around here.'

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip."

My boss is a real turd.

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

Call Center.

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

"See that guy over there? Used to be a real headliner."

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

Aggression Therapy Seminar

You want tech support. This is mockery and belittlement.

'You're listening to no repeat radio where we never play the same song twice! Yeah! No repeat radio! Where you'll never hear the same song twice! Only on no repeat radio!'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street!"