Collector Of Correspondence Gifts

'Oh, it's from my new pen pal on the other island.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

"I'm away from my desk right now..."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

The birth of junk mail.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'Here's the junk mail.'

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"I wonder what this was for."

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

'How old is this vase?'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

Captain Pointy No.21 - Hate mail

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

"Careful, kiddo. A lot a junk mail looks first class."

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

Astronaut startled by post delivered to spaceship.

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

Reading the love-letter

Early Literary Letters - Philip Larkin.

'Say, you've been working out!' A Weiner dog bites mail carrier on the butt.

Pawnshop: Genuine Fake Watches.