Collector Of Correspondence Gifts

'Oh, it's from my new pen pal on the other island.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"I'm away from my desk right now..."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

The birth of junk mail.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Seinfeld: The Early Years.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'Here's the junk mail.'

"I wonder what this was for."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'How old is this vase?'

Astronaut startled by post delivered to spaceship.

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

Captain Pointy No.21 - Hate mail

Carrier Pigeons

"Careful, kiddo. A lot a junk mail looks first class."

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

Reading the love-letter

Early Literary Letters - Philip Larkin.

'Say, you've been working out!' A Weiner dog bites mail carrier on the butt.