Collecting Survival Gear T-Shirts

"Stocks are up, led by sales of hazmat suits, emegency survival kits, electric generators, gas masks..."

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

Desert Island Mishap

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

That's actually the gorilla survival manoeuvre. . .

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

Clam Spearing

"We've got a problem."

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

Soldiers' Ego

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'

Help! Send fishing tackle!

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

Magazine stand in middle of the desert.

Yeah, that's mine - My mom puts my name inside my helmet in case it comes off.

Remain calm, we need to talk. We don't want to alarm you. Run for your life! Oh boy. The economic news is not good. It's apocalyptic. We both lived through the depression. More like barely survived. We're seeing parallels -- lack of government investment, no-tax policies ... Fire, disease, bad cellphone coverage ... You're enjoying this too much. you said I could. Spend cautiously, Rudy. Have a back-up plan. Sell your gadgets, buy canned goods. Oh boy.

Watering can helmet.

Geekasaurus.

"I swear, if you say 'I'm bored' one more time . . . "

"I'm realizing how useless I'd be in a post apocalyptic world - All I do is draw cartoons."

'Another invention? -- You are SUCH a geek!'

Knight school.

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

'And this war game comes with an AK 47.'

'Wow, that shift almost got us.'

Shipwrecked.

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'