Collecting Perfume T-Shirts

'It's wha-at all we cool guys wear - steak sauce.'

'A cheeky red?'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Wine Lady

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

Some scents are nonsense.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'WOW! This ladies' nav app is fantastic!'

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

true love.

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Pheromones.

Hand Sanitiser on the Bar

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

Wino Appreciation Group

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

The Stages of Wine

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'