Collecting News Stories Gifts

Headlines you may have missed. . . .April Fools!

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'Fergie quits - chewing gum sales hit all time low!'

'Georgy Porgy kiss 'n' tell story.'

"How awful! - was he a band, or an orchestra conductor?"

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

Look! This says that space aliens have landed and have taken over control of the earth. Boy that's a load off my mind!

"Thank you for making my decision to fire you, that much easier."

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

Horace Greeley's Storm Battered Coat and Hat

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

News and Magazines. Politics News. Presidential candidates are launching their campaigns earlier than ever. They must think the early bird gets the term!

Weekend paper with an index to the supplements it contains.

Breakfast Printing Press

"Back in my day there weren't any delivery trucks, distribution centers and fancy computers! We just hopped door-to-door until our feet bled!"

Trump Chia Pet

Unsuccessful Christmas novelty items. Blitzen on a Kitten. Angel on a Bagel. Frosty on a coffee. Claus on your Bras.

"Forty years in this business and you suddenly decide you don't like gimmicky?"

Joke Shop and Novelties

' You shouldn't believe everything you read in the fairy stories.'

NY Tribune Joins NY Herald on Hobby Horse of Anti-Grant Editorials

'Pss-st, Harley-Davidson is up one-and-a-quarter...pass it on.'

'The stock market closed early today due to an outbreak of 'altitude sickness'.'

Fred's Newstand - forefront of the new post-industrial information society.

'If the 11 o'clock news gives you insomnia, don't watch it.'