Collecting Humor Cartoons Pillows

'Dexter got a golden parachute, Nolan got a golden handshake and I got a golden retriever.'

'It's not my fault. Everyone was always telling me to be myself.'

"It's accurate I'll grant you, but I still say it takes some of the fun out of it"

"Ahhh, the sweet smell of success!"

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

"My lawyer will present my case that I was definitely 'nice'."

"How will drinking more wine make me an expert? I eat alphabet soup every day and it hasn't made me a better speller."

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

A large leaf falling on a dog

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"Call me?"

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Pigeon Little

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'The 'Leviathan Bat,' or many centuried marvel of the modern (cricket) world. (Dr. William Gilbert Grace.)'

Peach flirting with a banana.

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

Car joust.

'The ones with the teethmarks are the had centers.'

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!

Shell Fire

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

"I have an exclusive license agreement with Pfizer Pharmaceutical."

'What kind of filling would you like?'

Cow duel.

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"