Collecting Humor Cartoons Mugs

"Your policy says we can't do anything until you can prove this is not a preeexisting condition."

'Dexter got a golden parachute, Nolan got a golden handshake and I got a golden retriever.'

'It's not my fault. Everyone was always telling me to be myself.'

"It's accurate I'll grant you, but I still say it takes some of the fun out of it"

"Ahhh, the sweet smell of success!"

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

"My lawyer will present my case that I was definitely 'nice'."

"How will drinking more wine make me an expert? I eat alphabet soup every day and it hasn't made me a better speller."

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

A large leaf falling on a dog

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"Call me?"

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Pigeon Little

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'The 'Leviathan Bat,' or many centuried marvel of the modern (cricket) world. (Dr. William Gilbert Grace.)'

Peach flirting with a banana.

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

Car joust.

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

'The ones with the teethmarks are the had centers.'

Shell Fire

"I have an exclusive license agreement with Pfizer Pharmaceutical."

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!