Collecting Cartoons Pillows

'What kind of filling would you like?'

'Who gets the penile implant, him or me?'

"No, the other one."

The only place it's okay to pick your nose.

"First, we need to stabilize his spine!"

'The monitors all show that you're dead... but to be sure, we'll need to run some more tests.'

"It's your real-estate agent. She says she may have found you a higher ledge."

'If you ask me, someone needs to tell Mergers and Acquisitions to cool it for a while!'

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'Night sweats, what night sweats?'

Pigeon Little

'I'm afraid your house insurance didn't cover a wolf blowing it down.'

Hen Behaving Badly.

'My job is great since I never have to worry about Customer Satisfaction.'

'In the case of the King vs All of His men I'm declaring a mistrial because of a possible bias by the jury.'

'I'll be honest, this car is way overpriced, gets horrible mileage, and smells exactly like steamed broccoli. . . it does have dual climate control though!'

"I'm taking a wine course but not for credit."

"You know, Burkhart, if you're so damn afraid of the flu maybe you should just stay home."

'We're a bit tight on space.'

"...that isn't your Porsche ignition key. You got that off a tin of corned beef."

"We need a little more collateral than, 'cross my heart and wish to die.'"

An ostrich with it's head buried in the sand

Happiness for sale - "I always thought you couldn't buy it."

'Let me through, I'm a creditor!'

'The Novocain seems to have kicked in,'

Lemonade - $200 per cup.

'It's bird flu, but luckily we've caught it early.'

"May I represent you across the street?"

"Not sure how much longer we can live off the proceeds from your gold tooth."

'You drink too much!'

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

A sign at a nuclear power plant - 'In case of emergency run!'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

North Pole Dispute

'Forty beers please, oh, and if a woman called Beau Peep calls, tell her you never saw us.'