Cartoon Collecting Pillows

"Never, ever, think outside the box."

"Hey! I was looking all over for you. You have the wrong piece of paper."

'I've cut down to one a day.'

'Who would ever believe this started with a paper cut you kept picking at...'

'How do I know you'll still be around in a year?'

"What can I do? Fuel prices are so high."

"Your skin is enlarged."

'You're deliberately putting yourself at risk of ill health by being over 65...'

"My teacher says to tell you I'm having trouble with my ears. Everything goes in one and out the other."

"Be honest with me. Do I have bad breath?"

'You're welcome son.'

"I have a spiritual side, but mostly I'm an eating machine."

What makes you think the rest of the class doesn't like you, Jones?

"I've never trusted cows."

"Looks like you've got carpenter ants."

'And what exactly, your almightiness, is wrong with my attitude?'

Santa being squeezed into chimney by reindeers.

"Floods, fires, big job losses, foreclosures...what else can possibly happen?"

Upon review of the finish photo, race officials discovered cheating on the part of Turf King.

"The situation in Iraq appears to be going well, gentlemen. That, however, is a map of Staten Island."

'It doesn't look good, Bob!'

News Item: Hot weather dehydration can cause loss of memory.

Vending Machines

'Harold, you moron, you're standing on smog!'

'I'm sorry.. but we need the bed..'

'Hey you! You work here, don't you? You people could be in real trouble with the fire marshal for not having any smoke detectors! I assume they make regular inspections around here?'

'Any chance of an upgrade...?'

'And I suppose YOU'VE never started an unnecessary war!'

"That buzzing in your ears is perfectly normal."

"It appears you have medication forgetfulness disorder, which, as you can imagine, is untreatable."

"In case you haven't heard, we live in caves now, and we wear clothes."

'Bloody Joneses! Just because we've put in a new fishpond...'

Santa's naughty list and nice list.

'Well what do we do now?'

Are you sure you're the 'Locum Doctor?'?