Collecting Cartoons T-Shirts

'What kind of filling would you like?'

'Who gets the penile implant, him or me?'

"No, the other one."

"First, we need to stabilize his spine!"

'The monitors all show that you're dead... but to be sure, we'll need to run some more tests.'

"It's your real-estate agent. She says she may have found you a higher ledge."

'If you ask me, someone needs to tell Mergers and Acquisitions to cool it for a while!'

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'Night sweats, what night sweats?'

Pigeon Little

'I'm afraid your house insurance didn't cover a wolf blowing it down.'

'My job is great since I never have to worry about Customer Satisfaction.'

Hen Behaving Badly.

"I'm taking a wine course but not for credit."

'In the case of the King vs All of His men I'm declaring a mistrial because of a possible bias by the jury.'

'I'll be honest, this car is way overpriced, gets horrible mileage, and smells exactly like steamed broccoli. . . it does have dual climate control though!'

"We need a little more collateral than, 'cross my heart and wish to die.'"

An ostrich with it's head buried in the sand

"You know, Burkhart, if you're so damn afraid of the flu maybe you should just stay home."

"...that isn't your Porsche ignition key. You got that off a tin of corned beef."

'We're a bit tight on space.'

"May I represent you across the street?"

'Let me through, I'm a creditor!'

Lemonade - $200 per cup.

'It's bird flu, but luckily we've caught it early.'

Happiness for sale - "I always thought you couldn't buy it."

"Not sure how much longer we can live off the proceeds from your gold tooth."

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

A sign at a nuclear power plant - 'In case of emergency run!'

'You drink too much!'

"I thought bigger rocks would make us happier, but I guess I was wrong."

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Uh, actually I did you a favor. Do you know how many carbs there are in porridge?'

Worker Bees bring in a union negotiator.

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'