Collecting Cologne Gifts

'You're invading my cologne space.'

"Too much aftershave, visit to a bee farm. Bad combination."

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

Some scents are nonsense.

"I'm part of the problem and loving it!"

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

Pheromones.

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

Flower sniffer

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

New Blah Cologne for Dull Men.

"What pheromone are you using?"

"This will make the man in your life wonder where you went."

Excess

"It's for the woman who has everything except a man who knows what she wants."

Common stock, Preferred stock, Private stock.

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

This cologne reminds my husband of our first kiss, years ago in the old copy room. It's eau de mimeograph.

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

"Barkeep, gimme a shot of your finest whiskey." "Not so fast there, partner." "Oh, sorry. A... sh... ot... of... yo... ur... fin... est... whis... key...."