Cologne Collector Gifts

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

"I'm looking for a fragrance I can wear when my wife's not around."

"Not all the news is bad. Research indicates U.S. Steel would do extremely well as the name of a male fragrance."

"I don't speak hypothetical."

'Hey, Darlin', this cologne hasn't been tested on rats or pigs has it?'

Your husband will love this cologne. It has that new car smell.

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

'I know you're in there - I can smell your cologne.'

'Why would I want to smell like Germany?'

'Do you have one called Dad?'

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

"Yo, Cruz...what kind of cologne are you wearing."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Play the Trick or Treat Game!

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

Jesus and the Peeps

'Has he been out with your mother by any chance?'

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

'I'VE GOT EYE CANDY!'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'