Collecting Clothing Gifts

"It was a crime of fashion."

"Do you do much walking?"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

The Dandy

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

'Is my make-up O.K.?'

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

"Trust me – she's a witch."

"I predict that men's fashions will remain relatively stable throughout the next century and a half, whereas women's will evolve continuously, and with the speed and illogic of a juiced-up tribe of rampaging Darwinian monkeys."

John Bull dressed in the French fashionable clothing of 1799

Count Von Moltke.

'You've haed the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

"All I could find was this butternut squash."

Too Much?

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

Frock Coat

"Ahem."

Outlaw Quilting Bees

Pirate trying to choose what to wear

Pirate trying on parrots.

Bad Outfit Alarm.

"I thought I liked babies, but, as it turned out, I mainly like baby clothes."

'As marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition, my advice is that you trade ends occasionally.'

Wooly mammoth. Polyester Mammoth.

Post Office. Personnel. If we get the job, do we get a letter sweater?

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

'When he said he was interested in balls I thought he meant football.'

John Styx

'Is there a doctor in the house other than Doctor Love?'

A superhero getting dressed in the morning.

Washing Instructions: Have Your Mom Do It.

Campaign for real beer bellies.

I wonder if they have these in an eighteen...