Collecting Clothing Gifts

"It was a crime of fashion."

"Do you do much walking?"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

The Dandy

'Is my make-up O.K.?'

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

"Trust me – she's a witch."

Count Von Moltke.

"I predict that men's fashions will remain relatively stable throughout the next century and a half, whereas women's will evolve continuously, and with the speed and illogic of a juiced-up tribe of rampaging Darwinian monkeys."

John Bull dressed in the French fashionable clothing of 1799

"All I could find was this butternut squash."

'You've haed the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

Too Much?

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

"Ahem."

Outlaw Quilting Bees

Frock Coat

Pirate trying to choose what to wear

Bad Outfit Alarm.

Pirate trying on parrots.

Wooly mammoth. Polyester Mammoth.

'As marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition, my advice is that you trade ends occasionally.'

"I thought I liked babies, but, as it turned out, I mainly like baby clothes."

'When he said he was interested in balls I thought he meant football.'

A superhero getting dressed in the morning.

'Is there a doctor in the house other than Doctor Love?'

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

John Styx

Washing Instructions: Have Your Mom Do It.

Campaign for real beer bellies.

'I don't care if cows do know more about cowboys - I'm tired of always having to be the Indian.'

"A fire hydrant, you say? No, but I'll keep my eyes peeled."