Collecting Clothes Gifts

Intimate Apparel and Inmate Apparel.

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Do you do much walking?"

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

The Dandy

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

Inactive wear store.

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

"I predict that men's fashions will remain relatively stable throughout the next century and a half, whereas women's will evolve continuously, and with the speed and illogic of a juiced-up tribe of rampaging Darwinian monkeys."

Count Von Moltke.

'You've haed the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

"It was a crime of fashion."

Outlaw Quilting Bees

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

Frock Coat

Bad Outfit Alarm.

John Styx

Post Office. Personnel. If we get the job, do we get a letter sweater?

'Is there a doctor in the house other than Doctor Love?'

"I thought I liked babies, but, as it turned out, I mainly like baby clothes."

Wooly mammoth. Polyester Mammoth.

Washing Instructions: Have Your Mom Do It.

Campaign for real beer bellies.

'I went to the Shirt Fanciers Convention and all I got was this shirt!'

I Can Smell BeerI can Smell Fear.

'When did you first become a Fruit-of-the-Loom guys groupie?'

"Mom! Are these capri pants, or did I just get taller?"

"I guess I just assumed when you travelled you wouldn't be in costume."

"Hold yer fire! It's just a t-shirt cannon!"

'I'd have to say you've been exposed to extemely high levels of polyester.'

'Where do you buy your clothes, Frodo?' 'Erm, Orcsfam, Gandalf. Orcsfam.'

'Damn! Out of shoe polish again!'

Belling the Cat