Collectible Wine Seeker Gifts

'Twenty-five years for buying a Chateau Beychevelle from out-of-state: On the bright side, when you get out, it'll be ready to drink.'

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

true love.

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

Jackson Pollock Signs A Rent Check

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

Wino Appreciation Group

The Stages of Wine

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

Hand Sanitiser on the Bar

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

Wine of the Day Club

Love wine

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

-A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'Red for me, please.'