Cold Weather Witticist Pillows

'My teeth and I don't sleep together.'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

"How come we never have 'Baked Alaska'?"

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

"I love this time of year."

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

"Careful burying all your bones. We get a cold snap and your assets are frozen!"

Weather today.

Greco-polar wrestling

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

"This heat transfer dance had better work. I'm freezing my tail off!"

'Where is the global warming when you want it?'

'It's almost time to get the cross-country skis out and dust them off.'

'What's Iggy doing home from school at this time of day?'

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

Eskimo Breaking Wind

"We ran out of salt for the roads, but we had plenty of pepper..."

'Buddy, I'll get stinking rich... yesterday, I took out an insurance against pneumonia!'

"Put on a top hat and scarf. You'll freeze your carrot off!"

Winter Coat

'I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I thought the council could spare any.'

How to Get Rid of All the Snow

"And now for the weather forecast. . . it's cold."

"Now that my new bikini arrived, I am ready for global warming."

Deep Snow All Around

"If global warming is real, then why are winters so cold?"

"It's an ice scraper. I sweat a lot."

Snowman asks boy: 'Mind if I come in too? It's freezing out here.'

'I tried wearing hot pants once -- they don't work at all!'

"Long term I'm worried about global warming - short term, about freezing my ass off."