Cold Feet Before Wedding Gifts

"What do you mean 'no way'?"

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

I.T. Fear

Disco Dancing

"I'm sorry Jayne, but I've got cold feet."

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"It will be a short service. We’re getting married during half-time."

"He's a terrific photographer but weddings are not his specialty."

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

"It isn't always all about you, Cindy."

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am a 24-year-old man. The woman I am about to marry is having second thoughts because she believes that we are too young. What do you think? - Jacob. Actual reader letter. Great question. When is the right time to marry? Randy, our commitment expert, would you like to handle this one? Jacob, really, what were you expecting?! Medic! Randy's not moving.

'Wait a minute - This is getting too close for comfort.'

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

"I came here because my podiatrist said he couldn't help me with my cold fee."

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

'Last seen running away from St. Paul's Church...'

"Woah! Where's it say that?"

"I do - but it might just be the liquor talking."

"And where exactly is Timbuktu?"

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."

I love you, Morty, and I do want to get married. I'm just a little worried. What if I feel trapped? What if we fight, or one of us changes, or aliens attack? Aliens? And there's only enough canned food for one of us! Holy commitment phobia.

"And do you John, despite the mountain of statistical evidence showing it ain't gonna happen, promise to stick by your woman?"

'I suppose I'll get married some day - I just don't want to be there when it happens,'

"How much worse?"

Foot in ice cube.

Wedding Skiers

You may kiss the bride but be careful of her lip piercings.

"If he's Parson Brown then who the heck is this joker?!?"

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"I don't mind getting married for better or for worse as long as it's not a whole lot worse."

A bride and groom at the altar.