Cold Climate Jesters Gifts

'I'm in favour of global warming...It speeds up foreplay. Less layers to undress.'

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'It must be a milkfish.'

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

'Sorry, kids, I forgot we live in Michigan.'

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

Coast to coast walk.

"Every Christmas you make a lot of primises you never keep, why don't you become a politian."

"Walter's solution is to pump a lot of fresh air into the atmosphere."

'What with Obama and all his giveaways, I'm surprised you're still in business.'

"Run for your lives! The sea level is rising at the rate of about 1 foot per century!"

'God, you did this to me you son of a bitch!'

I think I'm retaining water.

Man flashing at a periscope in the middle of the ocean

"I'm allergic to ice."

"Your 'Low On Ink' light is lit."

"Paul is a saint, Minneapolis, no way!!"

'I told you we should have read the fine print when the accountant said we'd be getting 10,000 bucks a month in our retirement.'

'Sorry, pal - I don't really go for ginger blokes.'

'Why on earth would anybody want a 'cooling-off period'?'

'The weather was much too rotten to go to work.'

"Of course he hasn't left you anything, you've been a very naughty boy "

"Just a little off the top."

Frozen Farts.

'Sorry Ma'am, we do not sell fresh produce, only frozen...'

Bobby's dyslexia was about to bring him big trouble

"Oh yeah, well I say you're black!"

'Oh, come on -- you can't have the summertime blues!'