Christmas Jesters Gifts

"Of course he hasn't left you anything, you've been a very naughty boy "

'God, you did this to me you son of a bitch!'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

Dec. 26

NSA is coming to town.

North Pole.

'I'm not saying that global warming is a reality...'

Pumping up wig in blender.

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

U.S Airspace missile detection meets Santa

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

Looking for a cool cat.

Christmas Newspapers

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

"I thought Marley said I'd be visited by three ghosts."

The Navigator on Christmas Eve

'I'm not complaining, but the last time you took me out to dinner, Colonel Sanders was a brunette!'