Christmas Eve Jesters Gifts

"I thought Marley said I'd be visited by three ghosts."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

'I take it his performance review went well.'

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

Dec. 26

NSA is coming to town.

North Pole.

Pumping up wig in blender.

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

"I hate waiting! I know! I'll set this clock back an hour, and then in an hour...I'll move it forward, and 60 minutes will go by in a flash! Of course, we'll have to do this 176 more times."

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'I'm not saying that global warming is a reality...'

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

U.S Airspace missile detection meets Santa

The ghost of christmas regifting

"Mum, I think Grandad's run out of batteries."

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

Who am I kidding?

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

Christmas Newspapers

"Does that mean trick or treaters too?"

"Are you sure you can trust this doctor?"