Coffee Shop Storyteller T-Shirts

"I'm writing my eighth memoir."

"You don't whisper anymore."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"Of course I've been drinking!"

'You've had enough!'

How About Serving Us For a Change

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

'I've never eaten here. I come for the broadband.'

Continental Drift.

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

...Five ways for the cities-towns to raise money...

"Oh, great. ... My Aunt Donna is now on Facebook!"

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

'Did I wake up feeling grumpy this morning?... No, I let him sleep!'

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

'The doctor says I gotta cut back on caffeine. I'd better skip the bottomless cup of coffee today, Phyllis.'

'What a twist of fate!'

"I can see the green shoots of recovery. The fag butts are getting longer."

Rick decides to save his real lyrics for when someone is actually listening.

"I've stopped looking for work, which, I believe, helps the economic numbers."

'What are you staring at? You have free wi fi here, don't you?'

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.

"They want to turn the clocks back?"