Coffee Hour Attendee T-Shirts

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

The prying mantis,

Non-Power Breakfast

National Coffee Day

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"Of course, I'm complaining for two now."

'The good news is I'm down to one latte a day.'

"Could you repeat all that, I lost you at 'good morning.'"

Bookstore-Cafe: Used Book/Day-Old Croissants

'My wife wanted me to get more active in sports, so I signed up or TWO fantasy football leagues.'

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

'The doctor says I gotta cut back on caffeine. I'd better skip the bottomless cup of coffee today, Phyllis.'

'It's high time to make the boss clear that I'm the best employee ever!'

"Don't be a follower. Be your own man."

'Did I wake up feeling grumpy this morning?... No, I let him sleep!'

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

Republicans have me feeling reflective about capitalism, in a good way. Uh, oh. You've been with the company 20 years. I appreciate that kind of loyalty. I just want you to know that. Thanks. It also makes me realize that you have few other job options and thus are more or less subject to my whims regarding pay and benefits. Okay, pep talk over. Enjoy your day. Hang on, I could maybe possibly get a job at Coffee King!

"Can you make me a tall Tazo chai latte with soy milk?" Bartleby, the soon-to-be-unemployed barista.

Voting on their Seats

"The good news is that the CEO said he had never seen such a committed and competent group of workers. The sad news is that he was talking about the staff at the coffee shop next door."

"Looks like Amazon is going to start delivering babies."

Rudy, how come you're not wearing the new uniform? You were serious? You seriously want me to dress like a robot? Of course I do, minion. My nightly perusal of customers' web searches indicates most of them are feeling a bit antisocial lately. They'd probably buy more coffee from a robot than a human. Oh wait ... new web searches coming in. I'm going to need you to dress like a sexy robot. Very bad man.

"Remind me what I was talking about—I wasn't listening."

'Well there hasn't been a ring yet! But he did say that we were going to look at bridle wear - so, I know what that means. . . he loves me, Joanne.'

Overly pierced man in a lot of pain.

"You ordered the Iced Coffee?"

Take-A-Break

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"The Sculleys, the Jensons, the Walkers, Freedy, Joan, Don and the Bowes. Oh, well, Madame de Stael had to start somewhere."

It's always nice to get together with other cartoon animals and compare notes

'I'm not concerned that coffee might keep me awake all night. I have credit problems that do that for me.'

"I look forward to coming here for great tasting coffee. Every morning. . . but you are talking so loud I can't even smell it!"

When the trendy bottoms out.