Coffee Chat Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"I've been trying to remember all morning, lieutenant. Who did kill Cock Robin?"

'Well there hasn't been a ring yet! But he did say that we were going to look at bridle wear - so, I know what that means. . . he loves me, Joanne.'

Joined at the hipster.

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

Night-shift entrance

'You were fired from your last job when they caught you putting artificial sweetener in your coffee.'

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

'What do you mean, you want a coffee break?!'

"No caffè latte? And you call yourselves a bookstore?"

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

Starbucks Siren

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"Dear, when was the last time you just winged it?"

Mt. Rushmore Spinoffs.

"It's not all your fault, some of it is my mother's!"

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

Rocket Parking

"Could you repeat all that, I lost you at 'good morning.'"

"We'd better get over there. The morning coffee scrum has already started."

'You're putting coffee grounds in the plants again, aren't you?'

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

"Look, I'm happy to drop my attachment to ego, but please, don't expect me to give up coffee!"

'Have a nice day, dear. . . no need to get up and make coffee.'

Self-Isolatteion

'This is Harold. Harold is part of our company's jobless recovery.'

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

"Everyone's so nosy. They act like they want to be left along, but they're always nonchalantly eavesdropping on everyone else....some more nonchalantly than others."

Man feeding coffee to birds from park bench.

'Did I wake up feeling grumpy this morning?... No, I let him sleep!'

"I like my coffee like my men: light and weak."

We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion. Oh no. I've spent the last 72 hours analyzing our customer base. Our granola and kale latte helped us capture the hipster demo once we bundled it with cigarettes and vinyl records. Our caffeine-infused mocha helped us capture the white-collar set once we bundled it with motivational recordings. But there's one demographic we still haven't monopolized. First-time parents of toddlers. How proficient are you at potty training? I q