Coffee-fueled Novelist Pillows

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

The DaVinci Code

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Reading my Critics

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Honoré de Balzac

Jean-Paul Sartre

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

John Bunyan

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

Iris Murdoch

"Author does not do tricks."

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

Sue the Author 3PM

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

Thomas Hardy

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years