Coffee Date Companion T-Shirts

My calf had a terrible Charley Horse this morning. You have a calf? Gee, I thought having a wolverine was unusual!

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

Dolphin friendly tuna

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Reading the sports pages.

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

'My life coach traded me.'

Man, I could destroy a chocolate donut with sprinkles right now

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

'I wish I were as popular as the coffee machine.'

"If you give me a penny for my thoughts, and I put my two cents in, I'll still be short a penny."

Pumpkin Spice

"There's no point in our being friends if you won't let me fix you."

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

"Thing about human interest stories is, they always presume you're interested in humans."

'How long has what been going on?'

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"

I just can't help feeling that we'd be good together.

"I'm Tia Carmen...but I guess I'm not your tia, so you can just call me Carmen."

Bookworm Romance

'He was taller online!'

"I could argue about foot and mouth until the cows come home."

Men have only one thing on their minds. Oh, I'm sorry. Did you say something?

"Wow, I did not see that coming."

"Life's a binge and then you diet"

"I think I have allergies to something in this room."

Mort, sweetie, it's time for our lunch date. Can it wait? I'm in the middle of a rant. Why, that's no problem at all. In fact, I'd like to add something. But of course, my petunia. If I don't eat soon, Mort will never get another smooch! Who needs world order, really Another victory for Lip Gloss Diplomacy.

"You'll have to excuse my husband Marjorie, it's his breed you know, Peeping Tom."

It's always nice to get together with other cartoon animals and compare notes

"Why don't I tell you a little bit about myself while you check to see if anything I'm wearing was made in a sweatshop."

"But enough about my kumquats, Carmen...tell me about you."