Coconut Gifts

Alien that resembles a coconut is marooned on desert isle. Human on the same island cracks open coconuts. '. . acts of unspeakable barbarism by indigenous life form continue unabated . . .'

Coconut shy...

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"I brought cocoa."

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

World of Cow.

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

After 73 days, the coconut would finally be his.

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

'If those coconuts ever ripen, I'm not eating them!'

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

"If you love me you'd eat all the coconut ones I don't like."

Mixed Nuts

'The position sounds interesting, but my last job paid more coconuts.'

'Eating all of this coconut is making me feel really horny.'

'I know you're doing your best, but I'm getting awfully tired of cream of coconut soup.'

"Sorry I've called last orders"

'Hey it's a recipe for coconut cakes!'

P*ssed-atchios...

Desert Island with CCTV.

'I don't believe for one minute that an octopus crawled up last night and ate all the coconuts!'

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

"Breakfast's ready, darling."

'My wife is on a diet of bananas and coconuts, she hasn't lost any weight but you can sure climb trees!'

No, he wants the other one … No, not that one … No, to your right … No, above that one …

Your library book is overdue.

A man on a desert island fashions a bikini for himself.

"Please escort Miss Delgado to the private waiting room. She's curing my patients again."

Danger Coconuts

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

"'Resume In A Bottle'-- Very creative, but we're looking for somebody with a bit more experience."