Cockroach Comedy Fan Gifts

Introducing Roach-Hab.

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

A Cow Striptease

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

"Usually when a person is stranded on an island, they make a grass hut. Apparently, you're more resourceful than that."

Yep the kids are loving the hotel they've made lots of new friends.

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

'No cowboy's tough enough to handle Cookie's grub. Just ask Wild Bill Hiccup and Wyatt Burp.'

'Wow! I hope I'm not hallucinating again... What vision of beauty stands before me?'

'All right -- what did you jokers do with our pet Neanderthals?'

Melody Cockroach.

Although a rare sight in the old west, the secluded ice rinks brought out a side of the lone passing-by cowboy, that even they themselves barely knew existed.

'They want to know if they can have their arrows back.'

'You're getting too old for this game, Scott. ... They say the legs are the first to go.'

'God darn it Tex! I kept telling you if you keep on punching cows one day one is going to punch you back.'

"It's for you. You've got jury duty."

"The rumors were true - you're the slowest gun in the West."

"Hi, we're Indri Lemurs and we'd like to become EU members because we're an endangered species! Until then please send us some weapons so we can defend ourselves against extinction!"

'Kick it to me! Kick it to me!'

"Nonsense, Mother. You'll probably outlive us all."

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

"Sorry, Jeff. Two's company, three's an infestation."

"And lately I've been feeling very sluggish!"

Happiness versus Sadness

Desert Island Game

"Do you suppose there's life under other rocks?"

'Don't kid yourself. Humans have chemical weapons, and they'll use them.'

'How's the diet coming?'

"During the operation I had a true out-of-body experience and I have to tell you, there is a lot of dust on top of those lights."

"Oh s**t, it’s ICE!"