Coastal Collector Gifts

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

Local Knowledge

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

Try me/try me/try me...

'It must be the dead sea.'

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

true love.

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

Feeling for shells

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

Red Wine

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"I can hear the sea boiling."

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Sarah Palin Fact #2783, Sarah Palin makes her own diamond earrings by squeezing coal.

"I like wine gadgets more than I like the wine!"

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

'Would Sir like to smell the screw-top?'

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.